Finding Himself
Awards: Gilded Grangers 2007, The Goblets 2007,
Quill to Parchment 2007 Judges' Choice: Pairings

Finding Himself

"You see people change, in the maze.  Oh, find the cup if you can.
But be very wary; you could just lose yourselves along the way."
(Dumbledore, before the Third Task)

Summary: 'The boy who almost died' has to figure out what it means that he didn't.  Harry's tulmultous fifth year at Hogwarts is Cedric's seventh and final.  Bound together by a shared trauma survived, both boys fall under Ministry suspicion and fire, and both undergo a 'deconstruction' of sorts in the face of that crisis.  Who is Cedric Diggory?  He must find himself amid rumors of war, the awkwardness of falling in love, and a crippling personal tragedy. (parallel canon)  COMPLETE

WARNING:  This tale contains  ADULT  situations and imagery.  Don't want to get too specific and give away surprises, but just ... be aware.

Genres:  Coming-of-age, action-adventure, romance

Characters: Like any novel, this one involves an ensemble cast, but the central protagonist is Cedric, not Harry, which naturally skews the focus so that some characters important to the books are less important here while others barely mentioned become significant secondaries.  At least initially, all romances reflect canon.  (eventual Cedric/Hermione)


Sequel: 
Dulce et decorum est


1. The Portkey
'Get back to the cup!'  From that moment forward, everything changes.  This assumes that -- at the critical juncture -- Harry (and Cedric) are a bit quicker off the mark.
2. Racoons and Apologies
Harry and Cedric meet again in the wake of Voldemort's resurrection.
3. St. Mungo's
The process of recovery is neither swift nor linear, and grief is a wound in the soul.
4. The Order of the Phoenix
Cedric has unexpected visitors.
5. Trials and Tribulations
Harry is called up before the Wizengamot.  He has unlooked-for support.
6.  A Pact Made
Cedric's invited to Harry's celebratory supper at number twelve, Grimmauld Place.  But Hermione will be there; he's reluctant to go.
7.  The Hogwart's Express
Cedric's appearance before the Wizengamot has consequences for the Diggorys.
8. Head Boy
Students return to Hogwarts for the autumn.  There are surprises on several fronts.
9. Hat Songs & Madam Toad
Cedric and Hermione discuss the Sorting Hat and Umbridge.  Plans are made.
10. Much Ado about Umbridge
Harry is defiant; he gets detentions.  Cedric, however, is subversive.  He gets things done.  "Very Slytherin, for a Hufflepuff."
11. S.P.E.W.
'Friendships, like marriages, are dependant on avoiding the unforgivable.'
12. Disintegration
Some things come apart.  Others come back together. 
13. The Hogwarts Common Room
Cedric begins to implement his plans with the help of his badgers, Harry wonders whether he should teach Dark Arts, and Hermione turns 16.
14. Sub Rosa
Many things move beneath the surface.
15. Hogsmeade
The DA is born, but Cedric is dubious.  Cedric and Hermione go public.
16. Umbridge Strikes Back
Hermione learns something shocking, Educational Decree 24 appears, and Cedric and Blaise talk.
17. Cernunnos
A new painting arrives for the grand entrance hall -- real Wizarding art.  What's the meaning of the young horned god, and what story will unfold?  Lucy Diggory has advice for Hermione.
18. Bitter Pill
Blaise is seduced.  The first Quidditch match of the season and Cedric misses all the excitement.  Hermione thinks about Cedric in new ways.
19. The Eagle and the Serpent
Cedric has a little secret he's never told anyone.  And it's Hufflepuff vs. Ravenclaw on the pitch.
20. Cheater, Cheater, Pumpkin Eater
House Divisions deepen as the term ends.  Harry dreams of Arthur wounded.  Hermione worries.
21. A Christmas Story
Cedric and Hermione catch up with Harry and the Weasleys at Grimmauld Place.  Hermione spends Christmas with the Diggorys.
22. Pearls
"Love was a sweet kind of drowning, and he never wanted to breathe . . ."
23. Bewitched
A checkup at St. Mungo's offers a bitter reminder; Hermione introduces Cedric to the Muggle world.
24. Interviews
Harry is studying Occlumency, Cedric is studying Hermione, and Hermione arranges an interview for Harry and Cedric with Rita Skeeter.
25. The Battle for Hogwarts
The Interview is published and Umbridge finally makes a move on the Hogwart's Common Room.  Cedric has another episode that spans two days and The Daily Prophet makes hay.
26. The Prefects' Bath
Lucy Diggory was right; in a desperate ploy to save Hermione from their misstep, Cedric finds himself taking his mother's advice about Umbridge.
27. Purple
Gossip and rumor surround Cedric and Hermione as tension mounts, and the D.A. is discovered.
28. The Hunter Stalked
Umbridge becomes Headmistress and institutes her New Order.  Cedric and Cho discuss Marietta and mistakes.
29. Ragnarök
Cedric and Hermione go to Devon for one week of Easter holidays.  Not everything is idyllic.  Lucy takes Hermione to the London gallery.
30. Esiban
Fifth years get career advice while seventh years get job interviews.  And every man has a point past which he can't be pushed.
31. Badgers at Bay
What happens when badgers are cornered?  Plus Cedric, Hermione and a broom cupboard.
32. No Confidence
Hufflepuff proves more formidible than anyone expected, least of all Umbridge.
33. The Journal
Cedric is expelled.  Umbridge finally wins.  Or does she?
34. NEWTs and OWLs
Cedric and Hermione take exams, and Hermione begins to suspect she has a little problem.
35. Giant Problem
Umbridge catches Harry and Hermione in her office.  Hermione makes a desperate decision.
36. Department of Mysteries
In fear for Sirius, Harry and five others race to the Ministry of Magic.  Cedric and his mates race to intercept them.
37. The Summer King
In the aftermath of battle, Cedric and Hermione come to terms with what they've done, and what they've lost.
38. Blood Brothers
Cedric and Harry talk, about Sirius, and about Voldemort.

ENDNOTES

All recognizable characters and situations are the property of J.K. Rowling.
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Quill to ParchmentImages:  Cover art by Puguita.  A number of manipulations appear throughout this novel, acknowledged in notes.  Please don't take any of them without the permission of their creator -- not me.

Rec'ed by Know It AllsSpecial Notes Relating to the Books & Films:  Chapters 1-2 retell the end of Goblet of Fire with the AU shift, but the events as described are from the film, not the book, at least up to the point of divergence (after that, it's all different).  Later chapters will be based on book 5.  While this is a novel in its own right with an independent story arc, I consider it to 'run alongside' the main book and don't intend to engage in massive repetition of material from Order of the Phoenix.  In short, it is assumed that readers have seen Goblet of Fire, and read Order of the Phoenix.  Descriptions of Cedric and other characters' appearances reflect the films (where pertinent), but personalities are a blending of film and book.   Events in the short story "The Way I See It" are assumed in Cedric's personal history, but don't play a large part in the novel -- Esiban aside.

awardAcknowledgements:  Special thanks go to Bren Kuebler, for keeping my British (and grammar) on track, and Jocelyn, for HP detail checks and plotting assistance.  As always, novelists owe a lot of other people for their support, assistance and enthusiasm.

On wild animals as pets:  Yes, Esiban is very cute.  But taking Esiban home -- as Cedric himself tells Hermione -- was a mistake.  Wild animals should remain 'livin' free and in the wild' (to quote my son's favorite pair of naturists, the Kratt Brothers).  Raccoons, in fact, make horrible pets as they get into everything, and are one of the four major wild animal most likely to transmit rabies in the U.S. (the others being opposums, bats, and foxes).  I know just how bad they are because I grew up next to a family who had one.  Raccoons can also turn increasingly feral as they age; after all, they're wild animals.  So, cute as they seem, please, please never remove a raccoon (or other small wild animal) from its environment and attempt to raise it.  If you find abandoned raccoon babies, call animal control.  First, the babies may not actually be abandoned, and second, animal control will be able to place the litter with someone to foster then release back into the wild, where they belong.  Cats and dogs make great pets; raccoons don't. ;>

Awards: Finding Himself has kindly been nominated to a number of contests, and has won 7 awards total.

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